Category: Joke Board
advice to Northerners moving South.
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Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed on how to use it
shortly. Seriously.
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Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean Southerners
can. Please stay home the two days of the year it snows. Your life
depends on it.
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If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of
a four-wheel pick-up with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be
along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This
is what they live for.
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You can ask Southerners for directions, but unless you already know the
positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to
find it yourself.
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Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural
possessive.
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Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?" Well, 'cause
you ain't from here! We can tell!
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Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand
you, either.
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The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's
vocabulary is the adjective "big ol", as in 'big ol truck' or 'big ol
boy'.